Got my mind made up!

He is more than an answered prayer;

I have had my mind made up that every time a need presses hard on my heart, I will stop and whisper a prayer to the God of universe, of the stars, the sun, the angels and the things we see and things we see not. Faith is better than doubt, and saying a prayer is faith, and it calls in rest. I have injured, wounded and squeezed my heart out of life by worrying. Worry kills slowly, takes life slowly and Christ died once for us to have life, and that life is brought by humble submission to His word, and Stops of prayer to surrender what we can’t handle, what only He can do.

I have offered prayers, there are certain petitions I have repeatedly made known to Him, and I will keep praying, and this grows my faith. I don’t know how long it will take for God to answer but even if it takes longer than pleasant or comfortable, God is more than an answered prayer. He is the Father of all creation; He is the holy God who cleanses me clean even when my sins stink high, He is the God who ignites my heart and puts it on fire with His love. He is the God who whispers comfort in my depths when no one else can comfort me or heal my woundedness, He is the great I AM , who was and is to come. He is God who gave up His son to pave my way to His bosom, my resting place…I am totally satisfied in Him.

I have also made up my mind to drown and suffocate the voice of the enemy, to keep weeding off that faith may sprout and blossom I have made up my mind about what I am going to do and not do. However, I am only human and I have left provision that if my legs would steer off to the wrong path that my Father may hasten to guide me back.

Say a ,and not doubt,

Say it again when doubt knocks

Pray and wade off despair

Pray even with your heart, till strength comes back

Pray even more fervently

This is faith, and faith pleases the Father.

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

 

Grace for the road!

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Christ-like?

Since morning this question has had a grip on me “what is salvation?”

I tell God severally I want to be His mouthpiece, His hands and His feet, I want to carry His love, and embrace the ones He would like to embrace.

I want to light up my candle and seek dark places and corners to light.

But how would this look practically?

How would it look in action?

How would I incorporate this in my daily life?

If then Jesus laid out the path, am I following His path or have I detoured?

If Jesus would walk with me along Central park as I go to work every day, what would He do or say to the street families that shelter in the cold here?

I walk along this path every morning, the sight of the street families bother me and leave a powerlessness kind of vulnerability within that I am unable to look at them. I can’t comprehend street life and I suppress any need to understand, how can someone who has always had a roof over her head, hot meals and hot baths understand such lack. That’s why I suppress any need to comprehend because my heart aches already.

I repeat this daily. I strut in, see them, I feel deep sympathy and I refuse to feel broken. I say a prayer for them, walk past them and I feel justified that I have done something-I have prayed.

As soon as they are behind me the sun rises on me again and I walk either singing jolly and musing after the breathtaking yellow flowers just around the corner or I get deep buried under my own troubles and sorrows.

How did I, you, us learn to be so numb, so blind, so apathetic in being Christ-like? But again, it could be their case looks too helpless, we’ve grown up seeing them on the streets and that has been their place.

Sorry, I don’t mean to bash you or myself either. I understand this might be uncomfortable to look at and I admit it has been for me but could we look at it?

Could we muster the courage to listen to their stories?Because I know listening is akin to caring

Could we allow ourselves to feel what they have been deadening with glue and drugs?

Could we allow ourselves to ache for them and even go on our knees asking Him for strategies and ideas to alleviate their suffering?

Jesus, if you walked with me along this road, would you walk past them? What would You say to them?

 

we can light up the world!

After a really long time, I finally got around to blogging again. Every time I read Ann’s blog I feel refreshed and rejuvenated, Clemence’s blog gets me inspired to create beauty around me, now and then in my rounds on the internet I get a good meal of an article, some so savoury that I thank God after reading.

Last year was a very sweet and sour year for me. There was a time of constant pain that felt too much and a time heaven sang over me, lifted me up and placed me on a pillowy cloud. On those dark days, I hanged on to Mwende’s blog I looked forward to every post and I did feed and from her blog I linked up with Wambui of Wambui’s musings and here I fed some more, and those two blogs strengthened me through a dark season.

Now, it’s no surprise that I feel obliged to share ,to give , to muster the courage to believe in the light my Father has lit in me, to believe that Jesus has placed a cistern that flows of living water that can flow to others and heal them, to believe in Him that asks me to reach out and hold hands and form strong chords with other young women, to truly believe that His spirit can weave in these words and minister to someone.

“Self doubt has killed more dreams than failure” I recently read that quote somewhere. I know that self-doubt is self-sabotage and sometimes we doubt ourselves and doubt God’s ability to work through us, to minister healing to the whole lot in the body of Christ that are bent in pain and suffering, to speak grace and tell of His heart that aches to take under His wings the estranged and the lost
I have not a lot together, I know my imperfections and because of them I need grace everyday and it’s also because I am not perfect that I get to see His awesome power overshadow my frailties.

let’s light our candles!