Got my mind made up!

He is more than an answered prayer;

I have had my mind made up that every time a need presses hard on my heart, I will stop and whisper a prayer to the God of universe, of the stars, the sun, the angels and the things we see and things we see not. Faith is better than doubt, and saying a prayer is faith, and it calls in rest. I have injured, wounded and squeezed my heart out of life by worrying. Worry kills slowly, takes life slowly and Christ died once for us to have life, and that life is brought by humble submission to His word, and Stops of prayer to surrender what we can’t handle, what only He can do.

I have offered prayers, there are certain petitions I have repeatedly made known to Him, and I will keep praying, and this grows my faith. I don’t know how long it will take for God to answer but even if it takes longer than pleasant or comfortable, God is more than an answered prayer. He is the Father of all creation; He is the holy God who cleanses me clean even when my sins stink high, He is the God who ignites my heart and puts it on fire with His love. He is the God who whispers comfort in my depths when no one else can comfort me or heal my woundedness, He is the great I AM , who was and is to come. He is God who gave up His son to pave my way to His bosom, my resting place…I am totally satisfied in Him.

I have also made up my mind to drown and suffocate the voice of the enemy, to keep weeding off that faith may sprout and blossom I have made up my mind about what I am going to do and not do. However, I am only human and I have left provision that if my legs would steer off to the wrong path that my Father may hasten to guide me back.

Say a ,and not doubt,

Say it again when doubt knocks

Pray and wade off despair

Pray even with your heart, till strength comes back

Pray even more fervently

This is faith, and faith pleases the Father.

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

 

Grace for the road!

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Shedding skin

The last couple of years have been years of shedding skin,and stripping that which makes me skewed. There are times He stripped me off and I rushed to the bin and picked up the tatters and sew together another covering. I know He looked at me, took pity and He let me be because how do you strip off your young one who’s wailing and scared and trying to hide her nakedness with the last tatters of her garments? How do you look at her tears stained face, her eyes that take you to her shattered and desolate heart and take her only security? The only thing I clung on to was my covering, it was tattered but at least it covered my nakedness.

Clothed in sin, insecurities, fears, pride, vanity and layers of hurts that had become a warm covering, I felt it was cruel that He would uncover me, it was unkind of Him to expose my nakedness and it hurt and I couldn’t believe He even did it out of love No, I don’t understand tough love, I can’t comprehend it and I don’t favor it. I mean how could I even look at Him as a Father, He was just God and He had to get His way.

But the strangest thing happened; deep in my spirit, I revered Him, loved Him and I had some meekness to be grateful for the gift of salvation, and once upon a contemplation; He overshadowed my senses and I felt Him grieve over my hurt. I also know He wept that it hurt me so. On that certain day, I was lying down on the floor, my heart hurt like it was on fire and I felt Him, I felt Him comfort me..His love became sure and it was established in my heart.

Psalms 56:8

You have kept count of my tossing and put my tears in Your bottle-are they not in Thy book?

I read that word in the sequence of my stripping and I dug deeper into God’s heart. Christ cried to God when the hour of His death approached and it grieved our Father’s heart deeply that Jesus had to partake of that cup but He allowed it that we may be reconciled back to Him. When I now think of my salvation, I want to guard it with all my strength, Christ travailed for it with His own soul and we are the fruit. I can’t take that lightly!

In His love I started to believe and I started letting go of the tattered coverings, I believed Him and let Him strip me naked without throwing tantrums, wailing, grudging or even guarding. I was given to His will. If I be naked let me be..and naked I stood before Him and I surrendered, and I sang I new song. I asked Him to cover me, to clothe me with His beauty and splendor, to adorn me inwardly for my natural beauty is vain if I be uncomely on the inside. I sang and worshipped and I received my miracle.

Ezekiel 16:8

When I passed by you again and looked upon you, behold, you were at the age for love; and I spread my garment over you and covered your nakedness.

Ezekiel 16:13

Thus you were decked with gold and silver; and your raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and embroidered cloth.