The last couple of years have been years of shedding skin,and stripping that which makes me skewed. There are times He stripped me off and I rushed to the bin and picked up the tatters and sew together another covering. I know He looked at me, took pity and He let me be because how do you strip off your young one who’s wailing and scared and trying to hide her nakedness with the last tatters of her garments? How do you look at her tears stained face, her eyes that take you to her shattered and desolate heart and take her only security? The only thing I clung on to was my covering, it was tattered but at least it covered my nakedness.
Clothed in sin, insecurities, fears, pride, vanity and layers of hurts that had become a warm covering, I felt it was cruel that He would uncover me, it was unkind of Him to expose my nakedness and it hurt and I couldn’t believe He even did it out of love No, I don’t understand tough love, I can’t comprehend it and I don’t favor it. I mean how could I even look at Him as a Father, He was just God and He had to get His way.
But the strangest thing happened; deep in my spirit, I revered Him, loved Him and I had some meekness to be grateful for the gift of salvation, and once upon a contemplation; He overshadowed my senses and I felt Him grieve over my hurt. I also know He wept that it hurt me so. On that certain day, I was lying down on the floor, my heart hurt like it was on fire and I felt Him, I felt Him comfort me..His love became sure and it was established in my heart.
You have kept count of my tossing and put my tears in Your bottle-are they not in Thy book?
I read that word in the sequence of my stripping and I dug deeper into God’s heart. Christ cried to God when the hour of His death approached and it grieved our Father’s heart deeply that Jesus had to partake of that cup but He allowed it that we may be reconciled back to Him. When I now think of my salvation, I want to guard it with all my strength, Christ travailed for it with His own soul and we are the fruit. I can’t take that lightly!
In His love I started to believe and I started letting go of the tattered coverings, I believed Him and let Him strip me naked without throwing tantrums, wailing, grudging or even guarding. I was given to His will. If I be naked let me be..and naked I stood before Him and I surrendered, and I sang I new song. I asked Him to cover me, to clothe me with His beauty and splendor, to adorn me inwardly for my natural beauty is vain if I be uncomely on the inside. I sang and worshipped and I received my miracle.
When I passed by you again and looked upon you, behold, you were at the age for love; and I spread my garment over you and covered your nakedness.
Thus you were decked with gold and silver; and your raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and embroidered cloth.